#4 – Orlando Magic
The Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Orlando Magic in 5 games last June for their 15th NBA title. During those five games, which were much closer than some remember, there wasn’t any bad blood. The Magic played the part well: showed up as an underdog, got stomped, and faded into the night without much of a whimper. They even were kind enough to let Derek Fisher cement his status as a Laker legend.
Something changed this off-season, though. They signed Vince Carter, one of the greatest villains in NBA history. They also signed Matt Barnes, an NBA journeyman, to a modest contract.
I hate Vince Carter. His best game this year, he dropped roughly 47 points on the New Orleans Hornets backcourt consisting of two rookies. There he was though, talking trash, walking around as if he was a God amongst men, and taking dumb jump shots. You could tell Vince Carter was thoroughly enjoying himself.
Then, on Sunday, Vince started getting it going again. He had 15 points in the first quarter, and the announcers were gushing. Never mind that 10 of those points were free throws, and 6 of those came from just barreling to the hoop with no plan, jumping into somebody, and hoping to be the latest recipient of a federal bailout.
Then, over the next 3 quarters, Vince jacked up dumb shot after dumb shot. He ended up with 25 points, (and somebody reading just the box score would be impressed) but almost cost his team the game by missing his only free throws of the day, which subsequently, were the only free throws of substance. It was a vintage Vince Carter performance.
And then you have Matt Barnes, a guy who is on his 7th team in 7 years in the NBA. For some reason, he began jawing with Kobe Bryant. Not only that, he pulled move straight out of the bush league: pump faking the ball at Kobe’s face during an inbounds play. Kobe didn’t even flinch and just continued to stare at him and chew on his gum.
I love NBA feuds, but, the ball-fake is something that would start a fist fight on pretty much every court in America. Since then, Barnes has taken to Twitter to continue to disparage the Lakers. (Lamar Odom in particular).
Did I miss the part where Matt Barnes wasn’t an NBA journeyman? This would be the equivalent of Chris Mihm rising up against Shaquille O’Neal. I wouldn’t mind a Finals rematch, (That groaning sound you just heard? ABC Marketing Executives) so Kobe would get a chance to devour Matt Barnes’ soul in a cannibalistic ritual. Matt Barnes will probably be watching the Finals from the same place I am: the couch. It’s a shame that we may have to wait 7 months before these two lock horns again. And Barnes could be playing for the Moscow Dynamo by then.
Then there’s Dwight Howard. D12 should be obliterating this league by now. I mean, every night. He should be squinting his eyes and ripping the hearts out of his opponents for 2 and a half hours every night. Clearly, he is still an All-World talent, but what would Shaq have done to him in his prime? Shaq would have needed a toothpick to pick Howard’s bicep muscles out of his teeth.
Vintage Dwight Howard sequence happened in Sunday’s game: Dwight Howard blocks a shot. Dwight Howard, 7’1”, does a little jig to celebrate giving the ball back to the other team. Dwight Howard then fouls Paul Gasol before the ball was inbounded, which gave the Lakers two free throws. It was also Dwight’s fifth foul, which rendered him pretty useless down the stretch of the game.
It’s just a bummy franchise, with bummy players that surround a guy with All-World talent that clearly doesn’t value winning the same way all great players do. As for the fan—last year, before the Finals, the Orlando Sentinel ran an article that explained the rules of basketball to the people of Orlando. (For example, “What is a foul?” and “What is a double dribble?”) I think that should suffice as to what I think of Orlando Magic fans.
Next: The Glee of Beating Number Three
[phpbay]Lakers Jersey, 3, “”, “”[/phpbay]
Comments