Number 5: Ron Ron’s Cosmetic Obsession
Good news coming out of Planet Ron Ron: He has apparently decided to turn back the clock and morph into the defensive stopper the Lakers need. With his feet feeling better, he’s up to 45 minutes a day on the treadmill and has reportedly dropped 10 or 15 pounds in a few short weeks. With this new energy flowing through his veins, he came out swinging against Carmelo Anthony last week and was a key component in a Lakers victory over Denver. Ron Ron prides himself on holding his opposition below their season average in points scored, and was sporting an impressive streak going into the recent road trip.
I've never seen Ron Ron and Dennis Rodman in the same place at the same time. Just sayin'
If that wasn’t enough, he showed up for a nationally televised game in Orlando this past Sunday with a hairdo that would make Dennis Rodman green with envy. It looks like Ron Ron thought it would be a good idea to carve the word “DEFENSE” into his melon in three different languages as a symbolic message to his teammates. Apparently his teammates didn’t get memo, because they weren’t able to get the stops they needed in the 4th quarter to secure a victory against Matt Barnes and the feisty Orlando Magic. Maybe that’s why he already shaved it off, and to his credit he was able to see: “There’s nothing really exciting about it right now.”
Speaking of Matt Barnes, rumor has it that Lamar Odom heard his name mentioned in the locker room after Sunday’s game and promptly shouted that Barnes was a “monkey.” Lamar later compared him to an action figure and former pro wrestler Ric Flair. As amazing as those comments were, I’m just glad they weren’t blurted out by Sasha, Pau or the artist formerly known as Luke Walton. Otherwise we might have a PR nightmare on our hands…
But back to business.
This is without a doubt the most important part of the season for the Lakers. Maybe it’s just me, but I think the Lakers should stop calling people monkeys and start playing like men. It all starts at the top, and that’s where team captain Kobe Bryant sits. I think back to the 2001 season when the defending champion Lakers were struggling through the season and teammates started to openly wonder why the ball wasn’t running through the post. Sound familiar?
Coach Phil Jackson was able to bring Kobe back to earth and focus him in a way that KB8 went on one of the most impressive offensive rampages in NBA Playoff history. Remember Kobe’s 48 point-16 rebound performance against the Kings? How about his encore 45 point-10 rebound effort a few nights later against the Spurs? The most important part of those games was they didn’t happen until the playoffs were in full swing. Kobe was able to bottle up his individual game for the sake of his team, until the moment he sensed it was time to strike.
Pass the ball, Kobe. Can you do that for me?
The Lakers need that level of control from Kobe Bryant right now. Kobe appears to be unwittingly isolating himself from his teammates with his sometimes reckless/selfish play, and that is clearly having a negative effect on team morale. It’s time for Coach Phil Jackson to earn his $12 million salary and rein Kobe in.
I’m sorry Kobe, but when you take 14 shots in the 4th quarter against Orlando, that is too much. We need you to scale back your game for the betterment of the team. It’s time to get the rest of the guys involved and strike with a well balanced attack.
If you can’t, then you’ll be watching someone else hold up the Larry O’Brian Trophy, wondering what went wrong.
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