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Standing Up for Kobe: Cooling Off Yahoo’s Over-Heated Miami Fan Reviewed by Momizat on . So, I’m at work tonight—working hard, obviously. During a moment of respite, I turn on my BlackBerry. I’ve been away from my phone for a few hours, so I need my So, I’m at work tonight—working hard, obviously. During a moment of respite, I turn on my BlackBerry. I’ve been away from my phone for a few hours, so I need my Rating:
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Standing Up for Kobe: Cooling Off Yahoo’s Over-Heated Miami Fan

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So, I’m at work tonight—working hard, obviously. During a moment of respite, I turn on my BlackBerry. I’ve been away from my phone for a few hours, so I need my CrackBerry fix. Naturally, I’m expecting to be flooded with hundreds of missed calls, texts and Tweets from people who wanted to talk to me. Ultimately, I am disappointed. Thankfully I conquered my lack of popularity back in middle school.

There is, however, an e-mail from our fearless editor, Daniel Buerge. “New Article” is the title. I open it up, and basically, it’s a link to a Yahoo! article. He wants a response to it tonight. I click the link to the article. Unfortunately, Verizon has me on that half-G network where I work, so all I could load was the title of the article.

Miami fan: Kobe Bryant is no Dwyane Wade

My first thought? “You’re damn right he’s no Dwyane Wade.” I agree with this guy—why would Daniel need my response to this? I’ll figure it out later, I told myself, and e-mailed him back that I would do this piece for my usual fee: $100,000. He said the check was in the mail and I went back to work.

It wasn’t until I got home, showered, plopped down in front of my CPU and loaded up the article that the nausea truly hit me. I’m talking nausea to the point where you don’t feel like you’re going to puke, but rather, you know that you’re going to puke and you’re resigned to your fate. It’s just a matter of figuring out the quickest route to the nearest toilet.

My nearest toilet? Happened to be my trashcan. And when I say “trashcan”, what I really mean is an empty Penn Station bag. (I’m on that South Beach diet).

Between heaving into the empty bag, I turned to God.

“God,” I said, “WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS?”

Finally, after I had expelled everything I had eaten the previous 15 hours, it hit me: this dude believes in his heart Dwyane Wade is better than Kobe Bryant. (Ugh, I almost puked again just typing it).

….

Next: Is it fair to ridicule a Heat fan? Yes.

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About The Author

If nothing else: Marionaire.

Number of Entries : 26
  • http://twitter.com/AustenRisolvato Austen Risolvato

    Alrighty, first let me say that you answered his garbage – thinly disguised as poetry due to a use of big words – with fact. I enjoy that. It’s easy to spin a yarn and tell a great bedtime story for the children of South Beach. It’s another to back it all up with fact.

    Speaking of fact, I’d like to point out that it took a former Laker head coach stealing another man’s job for Wade to get his ring. However most of my commentary to your article is going to focus on one thing, the Olympics.

    At the beginning of the Games commentators and sports pundits pointed out things such as “Isn’t Kobe giving away his secret? These guys are gonna see what makes him Kobe, they’re gonna see how hard he works and they’ll emulate that work ethic.” Before Chuck could choke on a donut from the thought I was screaming “bullshit!” for one reason, just because they’ve seen it doesn’t mean they can do it. When you talk about Kobe’s need to win it’s like he’s affected, like it’s the driving force for the very fiber of his being. This isn’t the even the main point to be made here.

    Coach K took stock of his Olympic team and saw that he was SO saturated on offense he needed to focus on defense, he chose to use Kobe as the NBA All Defensive Team member he’d been named to 6 times at that point in his career. He CHOSE to have Dwayne Wade shoot the ball, and keep Kobe on defense.

    Coach Krzyzewski had the ultimate hypothetical situation of this era of the NBA come true in front of him in the final minutes of that gold medal game. He needed one man to dominate the game, he had Lebron, he had Wade, and he had Kobe. In Coach K’s OWN WORDS after the game, in that pivotal time out against Spain he looked at Kobe and simply said “Do your thing.”

    There is no argument here, that moment says everything. People had been theorizing since the draft class of 2003 landed the concept of “You’re a coach, you’ve got these two kids and that guy….which one takes the last shot?” He decided for us. End of argument.

  • Daniel

    I love Austen’s response almost as much as this article.

    Good job knocking this out. PER has its place, for offense only. And I’d expect Kobe to take more shots. Seriously, how many shots have Kwame and Smush taken since playing with the Black Mamba? The only way that team makes the playoffs is Kobe leading the offense.

    Charlie forgot one other small factoid: MVP: Kobe 1, D-Wade 0.

    Other fun fact: People rag on Kobe only being able to win the first 3 with Shaq. D-Wade hasn’t moved anywhere in the playoffs since Shaq.

  • Gio

    Wade plays great but Kobe is a great player. No comparison in my book-

  • XT

    This is one the best response I have read. That includes the comment from Austen. I am sick of the so called “columnist” bringing up stats to back their theory. Will they ever learn that using stat to back your theory only applies in fantasy sports? and last time I checked we aren’t talking about fantasy sports.

    Anyways, to reiterate what Byrnes said – there is no comparison between Kobe and Wade. I think Wade is a phenomenal player, I really like his play but Kobe is just another in dimension. He is just in another level Wade may or may not be by the end of his career.
    The only comparison right now is they both are shooting guards. and Yes Wade is no Kobe Bryant.

  • http://twitter.com/morganameridius Morgan Cohen

    What an excellent article/rebuttal! I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought you did a fantastic job of taking that writer to task. Whenever I try to argue for Kobe, people invariably bring up stats/Shaq/Phil Jackson and it drives me crazy. Like you said, basketball is so much more than stats. Plus every successful championship team had at least one other star and/or amazing coach to help them along. The Olympics argument is one of my favorites, I remember watching that game and loved how the entire team deferred to Kobe in the closing minutes…as it should be. While his talent is otherworldly, it is his drive and knowledge that truly sets him apart. Again, fantastic article =)

  • kaede23

    Kobe Bryant is no Dwyane Wade”

    yes…because dwade is not a ballhog…

    • Anonymous

      Take away Kobe from the Lakers what’s left?

      Take away Wade from the Heat what’s left?

  • me

    Offense: Kobe
    Effeciency: Wade
    Defense: Wade
    Rebounding: Kobe
    Passing: Wade
    Clutch: Wade
    Finals MVPs: Kobe 2, Wade 1
     

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