Once known as The Machine for his incredible three-pointers in the 2007-08 season, Sasha Vujacic (his “real name” is Aleksandar!) has instead become a mirror of the fortunes of the American economy. By about the time Chrysler received its federal bailout, it was clear Sasha was in severe need of a bailout too. Fortunately, the rest of the Lakers were able to step up, and bring home the Larry O’Brien Trophy.
Sasha struggling with Oberto
Soon afterward, Lakers fans sat tight as Mitch Kupchak and the front office did what could have been minimal wheeling-and-dealing, and the team acquired Ron Artest, at the price of letting Trevor Ariza go. For much of the summer, though, fans had only Ron Ron’s antics to amuse them as we counted down the interminable days before the start of the season. Then, as the Purple & Gold ramped up for the new season, the scintillating news of forward Lamar Odom’s short engagement and quick marriage to Khloe Kardashian made the rounds. ESPN even produced a highly hilarious spoof of a wedding program for the occasion.
Maybe it was because he was named as “Flower Girl”, or maybe it was just envy for the coverage Lamar was getting. Nevertheless, by the time Sasha received his shiny NBA Championship Ring on October 27, 2009, he had apparently set things in motion to win back some attention. By November 5, 2009, NBC-LA confirmed that Sasha was dating Maria Sharapova.
Maria Sharapova
The question now on everyone’s minds (especially the “Vujachicks”) is: why? Was it really just to get some attention and media coverage back? Did he see Lamar’s numbers improve after marrying Khloe and figure he’d get himself some of that? Is it part of some secret Slovenian diplomatic overture to reach out to Russia? Or was it the more mundane reason that Maria Sharapova is actually quite attractive?
And, of course, the Vujachicks can be expected to be devastated. Now that Sasha’s finally figured out how to make himself more presentable by adopting a shorter hair style, in case a Vujachick wants to introduce him to her mother, he goes out and finds, of all things, love?! I mean, come on, how about your shooting touch?! And how about all the grieving Vujachicks, who are left with . . . Adam Morrison? (I would have suggested Luke Walton, but he knows how to issue a restraining order . . . not that any rebounding Vujachick would stalk a Laker.)
I have a different question: how?!?!
Did Sasha simply bust out his best Slovenian at a party that Maria was also attending, figuring he’d seduce her with the sounds of a kindred tongue? Did he woo her with offerings of borscht? Did he tell her he’s Kobe Bryant’s reliever? (“In Slovenia, there is only one thing as fearsome and powerful as a black mamba, and it is The Machine!”)
Finally, there is this: shouldn’t athletes be required to date to their skill level? I mean, Kobe’s got Vanessa, Rick Fox had Vanessa Williams, Tony Parker got Eva Longoria, and Derek Jeter’s with Jessica Biel. Based on his performance last year, maybe Sasha’s true soul mate is . . . Anna Kournikova.
Anna Kournikova . . . Sasha's true soul mate?
Comments